If I was to find a box, take a shit in it, close the box, and wrap it up with a pretty bow on it and make it out to you as a gift, that would be about the same as I feel about Twilight. With its bad acting, horrible story play, crappy special effects that makes me believe I am watching Xenia: Warrior Princess on tv, and disgusting story line that is slowly destroying vampires as we know it, it is a beautiful box with shit wrapped with a pretty bow to attract my 14 year old sister and her junior/senior high girlfriends.
Based on the novel written by Stephenie Meyer and directed by Catherine Hardwicke, Twilight is about a new student Bella Swan (Kristen Stewart) who doesn’t care about fitting in the crowd in the little town of Forks, Washington. As she attends the new school, she meets the mysterious Edward Cullen played by Robert Pattinson, who is so pale and displays the worst possible facial reactions of a constipated character this reviewer has ever seen on the big screen…. or anywhere else for that matter. After awkward, and seemingly pointless breaks of not seeing each other, a story finally drags on.
Twilight does include the bad acting, crappy special effects, bad story telling, but the worst of all, is the storyline itself. Yes, it certainly does attract the teen girls with the whole bad boy falling for the outcast girl, which sadly bought the hearts of millions and millions of girls all around the world. Including, the tickets sales of those sad lads who had to take their little sisters to go see it (yours truly). They did this though in the worst possible way; i.e. they took a classic horror creature of the night, vampires, and turned them into romantics. Why? Why turn one of the most terrifying, cold sweat inducing, evil monsters of all time and turn them into teen bopping lovers? Because they knew America’s teens would fall in love with it. I give props to Stephenie Meyer for writing this piece of trash novel. I mean she made millions and millions, even though the storyline sucks and the movie was a trash... Stephenie certainly banked in the money.
Although the movie was a bomb (on the quality of the movie, certainly not box office bank), I certainly will give this movie one positive point; the music. I really did feel the music choice and score did do very well. I really enjoyed Bella’s Lullaby and, even though it was quiet random, it was very cool to hearing Muse come over the speakers, being able to enjoy a few moments of refuge.
Overall, if your teenage girl and you fall for Edward, you enjoying wasting your time and watching crappy movies, or your like me and unfortunately promise your little sister you will take her to see it, I would fully recommend sitting this one out. Instead go out and rent a true vampire film such as Dracula, Near Dark, and even Buffy the Vampire Slayer…. Hell I don’t care, just don’t go see this trash.
