If I was to find a box, take a shit in it, close the box, and wrap it up with a pretty bow on it and make it out to you as a gift, that would be about the same as I feel about Twilight. With its bad acting, horrible story play, crappy special effects that makes me believe I am watching Xenia: Warrior Princess on tv, and disgusting story line that is slowly destroying vampires as we know it, it is a beautiful box with shit wrapped with a pretty bow to attract my 14 year old sister and her junior/senior high girlfriends.
Based on the novel written by Stephenie Meyer and directed by Catherine Hardwicke, Twilight is about a new student Bella Swan (Kristen Stewart) who doesn’t care about fitting in the crowd in the little town of Forks, Washington. As she attends the new school, she meets the mysterious Edward Cullen played by Robert Pattinson, who is so pale and displays the worst possible facial reactions of a constipated character this reviewer has ever seen on the big screen…. or anywhere else for that matter. After awkward, and seemingly pointless breaks of not seeing each other, a story finally drags on.
Twilight does include the bad acting, crappy special effects, bad story telling, but the worst of all, is the storyline itself. Yes, it certainly does attract the teen girls with the whole bad boy falling for the outcast girl, which sadly bought the hearts of millions and millions of girls all around the world. Including, the tickets sales of those sad lads who had to take their little sisters to go see it (yours truly). They did this though in the worst possible way; i.e. they took a classic horror creature of the night, vampires, and turned them into romantics. Why? Why turn one of the most terrifying, cold sweat inducing, evil monsters of all time and turn them into teen bopping lovers? Because they knew America’s teens would fall in love with it. I give props to Stephenie Meyer for writing this piece of trash novel. I mean she made millions and millions, even though the storyline sucks and the movie was a trash... Stephenie certainly banked in the money.
Although the movie was a bomb (on the quality of the movie, certainly not box office bank), I certainly will give this movie one positive point; the music. I really did feel the music choice and score did do very well. I really enjoyed Bella’s Lullaby and, even though it was quiet random, it was very cool to hearing Muse come over the speakers, being able to enjoy a few moments of refuge.
Overall, if your teenage girl and you fall for Edward, you enjoying wasting your time and watching crappy movies, or your like me and unfortunately promise your little sister you will take her to see it, I would fully recommend sitting this one out. Instead go out and rent a true vampire film such as Dracula, Near Dark, and even Buffy the Vampire Slayer…. Hell I don’t care, just don’t go see this trash.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Rear Window review
Looking at just about any Top 100 movies of all time list, you find Rear Window in the list. Directed by Alfred Hitchcock in 1954, it is without question hailed as a classic and one of the greatest movies of all time.
The movie stars James Stewart as L.B Jefferies, a crippled man with a broken leg who is a prisoner to his own confines. Rear Window is a movie that captures the psychological view of a man who is confined to one area for far too long and how the mind begins to play tricks on itself when it has nothing to do. As the days go by, L.B begins watching his fellow neighbors through his window. As his paranoia strengthens throughout the film, L.B becomes convinced that one of his neighbors is a cold blooded murder.
With such stars also including, Grace Kelly as L.B.’s girlfriend Lisa and Wendell Corey as Det. Thomas J. Doyle, Rear Window is a movie built up suspense, something that most drama and horror movies have lost in today’s theaters. I fully recommend going out and borrowing, renting, or buying this movie and become ready to sit on the edge of the couch with your nails digging into the cushions, as you enjoy the classic movie Alfred Hitchcock’s Rear Window.
The movie stars James Stewart as L.B Jefferies, a crippled man with a broken leg who is a prisoner to his own confines. Rear Window is a movie that captures the psychological view of a man who is confined to one area for far too long and how the mind begins to play tricks on itself when it has nothing to do. As the days go by, L.B begins watching his fellow neighbors through his window. As his paranoia strengthens throughout the film, L.B becomes convinced that one of his neighbors is a cold blooded murder.
With such stars also including, Grace Kelly as L.B.’s girlfriend Lisa and Wendell Corey as Det. Thomas J. Doyle, Rear Window is a movie built up suspense, something that most drama and horror movies have lost in today’s theaters. I fully recommend going out and borrowing, renting, or buying this movie and become ready to sit on the edge of the couch with your nails digging into the cushions, as you enjoy the classic movie Alfred Hitchcock’s Rear Window.
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
The Edge
Anaconda. Bats. Birds. Jaws. Cujo. Jurassic Park. Ghost in the Darkness. Just a short list to name a few. Some classic, some that should not of even been made, all about when animals attack. (I know Jurassic Park is a little more on the fantasy side because dinosaurs no longer exist, but I added it because it stands as one of my favorites and its somewhat similar to the rest.) The Edge is a movie that could be classified with one of these, this time around though, it’s a bear that is out for blood. Here a Kodiak bear is out for Anthony Hopkins and Alec Baldwin who are lost in the wilderness in Alaska. How ironic for Anthony to be on the run from a man-eater…
Directed by Lee Tamahori and written by David Mamet we have the brilliant Anthony Hopkins playing Charles Morse, a book loving billionaire and Alec Baldwin playing the sly and arrogant Robert Green. The movie opens up with the Charles and Robert landing onto a lodge in Alaska with a photo shoot crew, including Charles model wife Mickey, played by Elle McPherson.
We find in the first ten minutes of the film that Charles is an extremely brilliant man on the outside who finds himself on the edge of paranoia of those around him. He believes Robert to be sleeping with Mickey and he finds himself believing that all those around are there for his money and no his friendship. On a plane ride to a near by lake, a freak accident happens when a flock of birds fly into the small jet and send it crashing into a freezing lake.
Here Charles, Robert, and their friend Stephen (played by Harold Perrineau) find themselves cold, lost, scared shitless, and hungry… not to mention a Kodiak bear is out to have them for a warm meal. As the story unfolds, we see Charles almost becoming a mentor type character and Robert as the student type figure as Charles keeps reminding Bob that men die in the woods from shame. With one man fighting to live by his knowledge and wit and the other hoping for sheer luck we see two interesting and realistic characters, on opposites of the characteristic spectrum be put to the test.
The Edge, without a doubt, goes down as one of my top favorite movies of all time. I fully recommend this movie to anyone who seeks adventure in the great outdoors and loves a good action flick. A movie filled with adrenaline and an introspective look at intelligence when all things are stripped away and a man is put to the test in the wilderness.
Directed by Lee Tamahori and written by David Mamet we have the brilliant Anthony Hopkins playing Charles Morse, a book loving billionaire and Alec Baldwin playing the sly and arrogant Robert Green. The movie opens up with the Charles and Robert landing onto a lodge in Alaska with a photo shoot crew, including Charles model wife Mickey, played by Elle McPherson.
We find in the first ten minutes of the film that Charles is an extremely brilliant man on the outside who finds himself on the edge of paranoia of those around him. He believes Robert to be sleeping with Mickey and he finds himself believing that all those around are there for his money and no his friendship. On a plane ride to a near by lake, a freak accident happens when a flock of birds fly into the small jet and send it crashing into a freezing lake.
Here Charles, Robert, and their friend Stephen (played by Harold Perrineau) find themselves cold, lost, scared shitless, and hungry… not to mention a Kodiak bear is out to have them for a warm meal. As the story unfolds, we see Charles almost becoming a mentor type character and Robert as the student type figure as Charles keeps reminding Bob that men die in the woods from shame. With one man fighting to live by his knowledge and wit and the other hoping for sheer luck we see two interesting and realistic characters, on opposites of the characteristic spectrum be put to the test.
The Edge, without a doubt, goes down as one of my top favorite movies of all time. I fully recommend this movie to anyone who seeks adventure in the great outdoors and loves a good action flick. A movie filled with adrenaline and an introspective look at intelligence when all things are stripped away and a man is put to the test in the wilderness.
Monday, January 26, 2009
New Take on Bride of Frankenstein
In 1816, Mary Shelley finished writing the story of one of the most terrifying and haunting monsters of all time at the age of 19. Two years later, the novel was published under an anonymous name becoming a spine-chilling tale to read for years and years to come. In 1931, this haunting tale went from words on a page to life on the big screen bringing a whole new experience to the storytelling of the classic horror monster. Masterfully directed by James Whale with brilliant performances by Boris Karloff as the Monster and Colin Clive as Dr. Baron Henry von Frankenstein. Four years later, the three teamed back up to finished the story, bringing about the sequel, Bride of Frankenstein.
Our story starts off where the original leaves off, except one tiny detail, the monster lives under the burning house. Finding his way out, he searches the town trying to find companionship and a place in this world. Once again, we find this inevitable. Our old mad scientist, Dr. Frankenstein, has turned over a new leaf and is now finding himself on a quest to marry his love Elizabeth (Valerie Hobson) and forgive himself for creating the abomination monster. With a new and even madder scientist Dr. Pretorius, played brilliantly by Ernest Thesiger, the plot darkens. With his own experiments with creation, Dr. Pretorius is now on his own quest to build a mate for the lonely monster using Dr. Frankenstein has his “mate”. With brilliant storytelling effects, unforgettable side humor and a spine chilling plot we find the rest of horror classic story of the monster in Frankenstein.
In 1815, Mary Shelley sat down beginning the brilliant words of one of the most terrifying monsters. 1818, the story became worldwide, chilling the bones and awaking the cold sweat of thousands around the world for years to come. 1931 the story made it to the big screen, as millions gripped each others tight as they screamed out loud. In 1935, the world viewed, on the edge of their seats, the rest of haunting tale. This reviewer fully recommends renting, buying, or borrowing this film, sitting down with popcorn in hands, and the lights out and enjoying the frightening finish to one of the most haunting monsters of all time.
Our story starts off where the original leaves off, except one tiny detail, the monster lives under the burning house. Finding his way out, he searches the town trying to find companionship and a place in this world. Once again, we find this inevitable. Our old mad scientist, Dr. Frankenstein, has turned over a new leaf and is now finding himself on a quest to marry his love Elizabeth (Valerie Hobson) and forgive himself for creating the abomination monster. With a new and even madder scientist Dr. Pretorius, played brilliantly by Ernest Thesiger, the plot darkens. With his own experiments with creation, Dr. Pretorius is now on his own quest to build a mate for the lonely monster using Dr. Frankenstein has his “mate”. With brilliant storytelling effects, unforgettable side humor and a spine chilling plot we find the rest of horror classic story of the monster in Frankenstein.
In 1815, Mary Shelley sat down beginning the brilliant words of one of the most terrifying monsters. 1818, the story became worldwide, chilling the bones and awaking the cold sweat of thousands around the world for years to come. 1931 the story made it to the big screen, as millions gripped each others tight as they screamed out loud. In 1935, the world viewed, on the edge of their seats, the rest of haunting tale. This reviewer fully recommends renting, buying, or borrowing this film, sitting down with popcorn in hands, and the lights out and enjoying the frightening finish to one of the most haunting monsters of all time.
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Bride of Frankenstein
In 1931 Mary Shelley’s terrifying story Frankenstein became an instant classic on screen. Four years later, director James Whale came back to film the sequel Bride of Frankenstein. Which would soon follow its previous film in becoming a classic in the film industry. Following Whale back for the sequel, we have Colin Clive as Dr. Frankenstein and Boris Karloff as the monster, with a few other characters.
The sequel picks up where the original leaves off. Although, the monster still lives under the burning house and our mad scientist, Dr. Frankenstein, has turned over a new leaf and realizes his creation of the monster is an abomination as he struggles to forgive himself. In the sequel, we do have a new, even madder, scientist, played brilliantly by Ernest Thesiger, named Dr. Pretorius. Dr. Pretorius has heard about Dr. Frankenstein’s creation, and with a few experiments with creations of his own (which was totally from left field) and now is on a quest to work with the doctor in making a mate for the monster. The movie plays on to show how the monster has no place in this world and how Dr. Pretorius will stop at nothing to conceive a bride for the monster, while Dr. Frankenstein has no choice to help to save the life of his loved one, Elizabeth played by Valerie Hobson who replaced Mae Clarke from the original.
Although this movie is to be watched to get the classic horror feel of cinema magic, this reviewer must also mention of the hidden messages and themes that go on unanswered through the film. Including; who actually is the bride of Frankenstein? The female monster, or Dr. Pretorius acting as the counter part in the making of the monster with Dr. Frankenstein, or could it even be Elizabeth? What underlying message could be said about the scene with the monster and the blind old man? Some theories are to say that this plays with homosexuality. Many questions and theories can be thought out throughout the movie that pulls on our curiosity that makes you want to watch it over and over again.
Bride of Frankenstein is unquestionably hailed as an instant horror classic, brining about the full story of one of the most terrifying and influential monsters of all time. With its unfailing way of giving a viewer the gift of classic horror while opening up one’s own curiosity of story telling, I fully recommend renting, buying, borrowing, or whatever way (short of illegal matters) you can to get a hold of this film, turning down the lights, and relaxing on the couch next to your significant other to enjoy a horror movie the original way they were meant to be seen.
The sequel picks up where the original leaves off. Although, the monster still lives under the burning house and our mad scientist, Dr. Frankenstein, has turned over a new leaf and realizes his creation of the monster is an abomination as he struggles to forgive himself. In the sequel, we do have a new, even madder, scientist, played brilliantly by Ernest Thesiger, named Dr. Pretorius. Dr. Pretorius has heard about Dr. Frankenstein’s creation, and with a few experiments with creations of his own (which was totally from left field) and now is on a quest to work with the doctor in making a mate for the monster. The movie plays on to show how the monster has no place in this world and how Dr. Pretorius will stop at nothing to conceive a bride for the monster, while Dr. Frankenstein has no choice to help to save the life of his loved one, Elizabeth played by Valerie Hobson who replaced Mae Clarke from the original.
Although this movie is to be watched to get the classic horror feel of cinema magic, this reviewer must also mention of the hidden messages and themes that go on unanswered through the film. Including; who actually is the bride of Frankenstein? The female monster, or Dr. Pretorius acting as the counter part in the making of the monster with Dr. Frankenstein, or could it even be Elizabeth? What underlying message could be said about the scene with the monster and the blind old man? Some theories are to say that this plays with homosexuality. Many questions and theories can be thought out throughout the movie that pulls on our curiosity that makes you want to watch it over and over again.
Bride of Frankenstein is unquestionably hailed as an instant horror classic, brining about the full story of one of the most terrifying and influential monsters of all time. With its unfailing way of giving a viewer the gift of classic horror while opening up one’s own curiosity of story telling, I fully recommend renting, buying, borrowing, or whatever way (short of illegal matters) you can to get a hold of this film, turning down the lights, and relaxing on the couch next to your significant other to enjoy a horror movie the original way they were meant to be seen.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)